Hot Pizza with strings attached

How do you explain this to your children? Eat blistering hot food just so you can get more in your stomach.
It's that marvelous pizza from Maryland. How many times did I wander in to the Ledo's near the University of Maryland. We would see that same old waitress. Evidently she didn't taste the pizza because she was all of 75 pounds.
Anyway, it was Mark and Eddie and Tommy, too. We would order a few trays of the stuff and go at it. Of course it was smoking hot and my mouth told me in no uncertain terms that there was a price to pay. The roof of my mouth burnt quickly and strings of skin hung down. However it was a small price for the delightful provolone cheese and sweet sauce of Ledo's. Of course, I would down 6 to 8 pieces in the first few minutes. Mark and Eddie were like the tortoise. Slow and steady. Mark would get a kick and finish off the whole darn thing. There were no manners here at all. It was eat as fast as you can thus hoping that would get more pizza down.
Of course we weren't the only ones enjoying this wonderful treat. After I left DC, a number of branches of this establishment opened up even in Virginia. On our last trip to DC, we had the Ledo's pizza right across the street from H-Man's house.
It's probably a good thing they don't have it in Chicago. I don't think my mouth would appreciate it.

The No Thank You Cards

Got the thank you notes in the mail from the most recent birthday party. What an ordeal that is. To try and figure out who gave you what.

All the local kids go to birthday parties. They bring presents, mostly gift cards at this stage, and have a good time. Cake and pizza is served and everyone has fun.

Well, guess what, I hate the thank you notes. Why the heck do we need to send them out? Waste a stamp; waste the mailman's time and waste the environment.

No one wants them anyway. We get those thank you notes in the mail. Our kids think it's another party. Oh, boy. And it's a stinking thank you note destined to be fired hard into the nearest trash can.

Can we just say thank you at the party and move on? Or at least write, you know what, this so-called gift you brought might work for a two-year-old, you idiot.

Of course thank you notes have their place. But not for kiddie birthday parties. Do kids collect them to show that someone likes them?

They are useless. They say the same thing. Thank you for coming to my party. Hope you had a good time. Thank you for the gift card.

Skip it the next time and no one will miss it. Not the kid who had the party and not the mailman.