Friday, August 6, 2010

On second marriages

My friend Dave says "get that first marriage out of the way." But all kidding aside, it's one of the worst things you can hear in life. "I want a divorce,'' my ex-wife uttered to me some 17 years ago. It was crushing. It was unbelievable. I felt I didn't do my job to watch out for my family (the two of us). But on second thought, maybe it wasn't my fault. One of her friends noted to me that her marriage didn't fail, it just ended.
Of course it was the best thing to ever happen to me so I could move on. The way God looked at it, it was six days after that horrendous announcement that I met my best wife for the first time.
So what do we know about second marriages? Isn't a very good idea to marry a person who has at least some marriage experience? That's invaluable. That person should know something about sharing and taking care of expenses.
I did tell my friend Joel upon his second marriage that if you hear the same complaints in the second marriage that you did in the first, those comments are probably true.
Do your best not to divorce with children in the picture. If you do that, you might not have a choice on who raises your kids. That in itself should frighten anyone. Your ex might marry some loser and your kids and you will pay for it.
When I was growing up, I knew nothing of divorce. But my friend Brian's mom lived alone so I guess she was divorced.
These days it's not easy to find folks who have been married just once. It makes you wonder.


  1. I went through three marriages, and noticed a pattern (self-created): my first marriage was a "rescue" where I tried to save a woman with an existing family. That imploded. I was "rescued" from that by Wife #2. Therefore, I owed the "rescue" to Wife #3, and in return, I've reunited with someone who has been waiting 30 years for me. HOWEVER: she has to ask ME to marry her.

  2. My old boss once said to me on the eve of my own marriage that "marriages are like funerals where you get to smell your own flowers."

    Nice huh? He was an asshole of a boss, FYI. Married twice, cheated twice.

    glad number two was a keeper. Was it your boyish good looks?

  3. Here's hoping Jerry stays married to Wife #1!